8.36 and 3.52

Sunrise and sunset today.
Bring on Spring.

Recovery Period

Hello!

Christmas has now come and gone. It feels like I have blinked and now we are on to the next thing.

We had a great time at Chris and Elaine's. To be honest, I thought the girls would be at each others throats most of the day but they played well and it was truly a chilled out Crimbo.

Mae loved all her gifts (thank you to all who sent her stuff, except my brother Chris and you know why- that damn dog has been barking 24/7!)

She really likes her Hot Wheels and her favourite gift was from Papa Ross, who gave her a large dinky style car with sound of tearing tires and when you open the trunk/boot, it makes techno/acid music from the 'sound system'- sort of mini 'Pimp my Ride'. Her other faves include her Stompin' Tom Connors book- thanks uncle Andrew we have just downleaded the song. For those of you who don't know Stompin' Tom he is like a cheap Johnny Cash from Prince Edward Island, the land of Anne of Green Gables. So instead of Fulsom Prison Blues it's more 'Bud the Spud'- songs about potatoes, for God's sake. Need I say more?

She also loves her snake, her paper dolls, her Backyardigan p'j's- the list goes on.

We also went to church on the day and although the only baby Jesus to be seen was in the stained glass windows, she liked the carols. Thanks Chris and Elaine.

We also went to Lilian and Ross's house, and had a fab Christmas dinner. Lilian rocks in the kitchen- I will post a pic sometime.

Then back to Dumfries on Boxing day- thank god we missed the EARTHQUAKE! Yep, an earthquake. 3,5 on the Richter scale, houses were shaking, apparently. Although I wouldn't really call this the California of Britain, you need to take the bad with the good.

And the other Christmas tradition of course, sickness. I was in bed all day yesterday, poor Lauren was pretty bad with a cough when we were there and Ross was a real casualty, with the flu- proper flu as well, not man-flu. We will debate man-flu some other time. I'm sure it's a hot topic.

So a great Christmas, missed my family but it was good to talk. Also really nice to be chilled out. Next year, who's going to cook......?

Here's a pic of Mae's airport (from me and Geoff) with the requisite dinosaurs, Hot Wheels and I think Barbie just fell out of the control tower.........

Bring it on!

Oh my god is it almost Christmas? Holy crap, I even feel ready for it! Of course, when planning a fairly stress free Christmas it is always important to plan to be somewhere else, and if you can't do that, have your mom come and stay.

The point being, you don't have to cook!

I think that would be the most stressful bit. I have managed, in my short life (or long, depending on how you count it) to avoid Christmas cooking. So this year we are going up to Edinburgh where we will be staying with Chris and Elaine and spending Christmas day with the parents. Lilian will be the main cook this year, and I am looking forward to it! And next year my mom will visit, so that's two years running taken care of. The year after that we'll go away, maybe.

I am so excited!
I can't wait for Mae to open her gifts! I am slightly freaking though as she contines to ask for a yucky Barbie, by which she means a Bratz doll. If you have ever seen them you realise they are Barbie's younger whore cousins. They are TERRIBLE! Mae is actually getting a real Barbie for Christmas, she's equestrian, which is cool, and she is from her nana and poppa, which is good for the moral issues facing the guilt-ridden, ethically minded yet surprisingly conservative and frightened modern parent. I don't know where the ethics come in. I had a Barbie and I certainly don't have major body issues. Just the normal ones any fat ass like me SHOULD have. Nuttin wrong with that.
She is also getting an airplane, hot wheels, art stuff and other non- gender specific plastic things. So she will be alright. The only thing I am seriously worried about is if she feels disappointed about the failure of the yucky Barbie to show. That would be bad......

Anyway, blah blah, like I said, excited- will post pics as soon as it all happens!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!

Throw your arms around the world, it's gingerbread time

After some serious pressure from Sharon Reid I am finally getting some photos of our gingerbread extravaganza on the blog.

Before that though I would like to inform everyone that her hair is lovely (refer to her blog about a 'mumsy' cut) In actuality the haircut she wanted was pure white trash, and it's only thanks to her intrepid hairdresser that she doesn't look like someone out of Trailer Park Boys (or like Vicky Pollard, for you British viewers). That's only my opinion, however, and Sharon is one of those people that always look great (be-atch)

Anyhoo,

after a long journey and very late night (thanks Mae) we got down to building our festive homes. Ailsa, as you can see, is very ordered (one sweet on house, one in mouth). And although Heather's roof fell off, she is smiling with icing on her mouth! Mae kept saying that all her sweets kept falling off, so she had to eat them. Ever the recycler.

It's really nice to be so close to Sharon and John and the girls and we are looking forward to spending more time with them over Christmas, so more pics will surely follow. Heather is finally starting to warm up to me (sweets in pockets help) and Ailsa is a real giggler. I love those girls!!!

Happy Birthday Chris! (yesterday-oops!)

My older brother is OLD!

Pie, Pie me-oh-my

If anyone can name the film that title came from, I will send them a pie.
So, onto a rant- no one ever eats my pies! I have lost my pie mojo- or pojo.
We went to Joanzs's birthday today, he is a friend of Mae and is two years old. He's gorgeous, like a mini Labrador retreiver. He also eats from everyone's plate which is also similar to a Lab.
So I made apple and cranberry pie. Very festive. But Ania, his mum, made super duper three layer cake with mousse and custard, hence- no room for pie. Oh well.
I hope it's good, though, as I may be making it for the famndamily Mark next week, as my attempts at Swedish Tea Ring (no it's not some anal sex game) flopped.
I have had some wine, sorry about the content. If you have a real problem with it though, bite my fuzzy white butt. Heh heh. No wonder I have pink scissors thrown at me. I bring it on myself....

my little torville

Mae went ice skating today! What a gal! And she only fell once! Except I wasn't there, she was with her childminder, which makes me sad, missing all this fun stuff.





Geoff is chucking stuff at me, gotta go.

I knew I would expose his abuse one of these days. Ouch.

The best thing about my job

Is the cars they hire for me! I had to go up north yesterday (no biggie really, only a 2.5 hour drive each way, but it was the windiest wettest day of the year!) and this car made it all okay. It has a 6- CD changer, air con, sat nav, the works. I don't know if it's my DREAM car, but I would accept it if anyone offered it to me.




Mae is getting her hair cut today- at 4pm, the time that I usually refer to as the witching hour, as she turns into a witch from then until she eats her dinner, however that's when I could get an appointment. It's at the local hairdresser, which, by the way, won the Scottish Hair Dressers of 2006. I will pay a small fortune, but it's the best in the country. I agree with Sharon that hairdressers are a gamble, in my nine (NINE!!!) years in Britain they are the first ones to cut my hair the way I ask- so I will pay anything for the privilege.
I will be armed with lollipop, book, toy and any kind of bribe to get her through it. Who said I was a good mother? Naaaah!! I just want a quiet cutie.

Sayonara, Christmas Angel!

No more angels in this house! Viola, le topper for our tree! Cute, eh? I kept up the Who-ville theme and am very pleased with the outcome.....

Fantooples and Wuzzles

Our Christmas tree looks like something out of Who-ville. Any suggestions for a top? We have a silver star but we need something bigger, especially as this tree has three tops.



Mae also got a great letter from Santa! Blitzens foot is sore, but don't worry, it will be as good as new for Christmas. Did you know Santa lives in Glasgow? He goes South for the winter these days, I suspect it has something to do with arthritis. Balmy Glasgow would help.

oh me bum

I did some outreach today in a little town near Stirling, called Fishcross, and my arse is killing me from being in the car for 5 + hours!

Here are some more pics of my lovely painting and Mae tootling around in the car at Nana and Papa's- she looks saucy but it's just her happy Joan face....

Rain Rain get lost

Holy moly- the toon is flooded! We got back from a weekend at Lilian and Ross's (good weekend, I shopped all Saturday while Geoff adn Ross fixed my car AS well put in a new kick ass sound system, and Lilian babysat- nice!) and the town was flooded, here are some pics- if you don't know Dumfries, and most of you don't, directly across the river is a large car park, which is now under water. And the rapids under the bridge are never there.



Here's also a pic of the painting I did for Lilian, which looks good in their house, if I do say so myself. More pics to follow, a close up of the turquise bits, which are beads threaded on copper wires. They look nice! Yay! (I take commissions......)

Workplace Hazards

What the bejesus.
Wednesday I had to witness some gigantic bird of prey eat a pigeon on may way out- today I come in and the alarm is saying there is an intruder in the shop. Geuss what that was?
A bat.

Nope, not happy. Not happy at all.

Thank Christ it's Friday.

Martha Stewart without the Criminal Record

You're right, Bethanne, I don't like to write a new blog until someone comments. I have given up- I must be losing my touch. Working seems to stymie my creativity- funny that.
OK- so Sharon and I need to plan a gingerbread house day with the girls- and yesterday I found this sensational wreath on the Martha Stewart Website- this is Martha's- I will post a pic near Christmas of ours and you can rate them.

You may need to take into account Martha's time in prison perfecting all these crafts when you judge it...let's wait and see.

Three girls on a sled

Ailsa and Heather (and mom) visited Tuesday. Aside from Mae's minor tantrums, they had a great time! Mae is a clown, Heather is flamboyant stomping girl and Ailsa a sweetiepie. Can't wait to spend more time with them!

mmmm, Marmalade

Marmalade is a cat, Beth's cat to be specific, and I could eat him on toast.




A great weekend was had by all, John and Les are doing well, we even went shopping in Milton Keynes, which is basically a town of shops, nothing else! Crazy, but fun!

Costa Del Northampton

This cow may have the blues (note the harmonica he is sliding down- if that ain't the blues what is...?) But we are off to John, Les and Beth's house this weekend and I don't have to work any more this week! Hooray!

Grandparents

The beauty of these pics? While Mae was out with Nana and Papa, Geoff and I were out, leisurely buying my new Wellies (more pics to follow, I am in love) and generally chilling. It was weird without Mae's heavy bag with nappies, wipes, juice, snacks, extra clothing, etc, etc.
Lovely day- looks like they had fun as well!




PS- Dana and Bethanne, I am trying to get your links up, but I am useless at this HTML junk.

These boots are made for walkin'?

Check out Sharon's blog, those of you who know it- our children are on some freaky wavelength. And you may think, Sharon's boots are prettier (I concede), however, mine are Hunters. The original, and the best.

Cow Breath

Today was a frosty bright beautiful day here in Dumfries.

On the way home from work I saw some cows, and it was cold enough to see their breath. Which made me laugh because apparently that is the first thing I called Sharon Reid when we met, at age 9, which she doesn't let me forget.

So I was thinking of you and giggling, Sharon!

Everybody- her breath doesn't stink at all. She's lovely, really.

Happy Hallowe'en!!

We didn't go out with Mae trick-or-treating but boy did she have fun giving out candy! And her childminder, Liza, and her two boys showed up just as Mae was going to bed and she was so excited!!

What's cool about Scotland? The kids here tell you a joke when you give them sweets! (better than slashing your tires like the Bristolians! Just joking Rach!)

Mae was her own little monster today: We went to her playgroup and when we came home she sang 'five little monkeys'- the Cranmer Variation:

'Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
one fell off and bumped his head
DAMMIT!! DAMMIT BED!!!'

I almost died laughing. I know it's not funny though, mom!




I don't know if I have said this before but Rumpole has a new friend- he loves these stupid toys that we won for Mae at one of the numerous fairs here in Dumfries:

Moffat

We went for a nice walk today in one of the many local nature reserves. It was warm and sunny and we saw loads of birds and toadstools and stinging nettle, which Mae, as usual, touched. Plus we went into a hide and watched some birds feeding and then one of the hatches fell on her head. Other than that it was an untarnished day. We even found a little mammal jawbone, complete with teeth. Me, in my infinite wisdom, showed it to one of the dudes in the reserve, who decided to keep it. Bummer.

Here are some pics.

Independence or Gluttony?

When I got out of the shower this morning Mae informed me that she was eating 'toast' and honey. In reality, she had removed two slices of bread from the bag and globbed honey in the centre of them, and proceeded to suck out the middles.
Time to hide the sweets.

We haven't been up to much

This working malarky has kept me busy! Although we did go to Edinburgh last weekend and had a nice day with the rellies. They all went to the museum on Monday while I worked there! Bummer!
And on Tuesday Mae went to her friend Findlay's birthday party- it was a hallowe'en theme, so Mae went as a 'Boo Witch'.

Happy Birthday Geoff!

You old dinosaur! Geoff turned 37 this week. ooh-wee!

Look what I did!

No more tangles


No more fuss


No more yoghurt in hair



Cute cute cute!

What are girlz like....

There was a 12 year old in my workshop on Monday, and at the break she came up to me and said 'no one knows what I want to be when I grow up'

Of course I took the bait. 'what do you want to be?'

'well, either a supermodel or a fashion designer or a chef or an assassin- ....but I only wear pink'

What the!? Please Mae, don't turn into that!

Then later, when we were doing crafts she said 'I LOVE double sided tape- it's great for waxing my legs!!!'

I am hoping Mae is going to be a goth- it would be much safer.

I have a feeling she will be.

Weekend with the Reids

What a great weekend! Sharon and Johns place is great (except for the bed in the front room which is a toe breaker, thanks you very much)- a really good size and a nice sauna-looking bathroom. The girls all had so much fun and not much sleep. At one point we put them all in bed together and all we could hear was a rousing rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mae saying ' I AM SO EXCITED, AILSA!!'

On Sunday we went to the Glasgow Science Centre, which was fabulous- I reccommend it to anyone who visits. There was a show called Junior Sky Tonight which I thought was going to be too scary but Mae loved it- and the exhibitions were all hands-on, including piano keys you could walk on and a spinning disc that you could stand on, it was all a real hit.

It'll be so much fun to see them on a regular basis. Ailsa and Heather are lovely girls and they all get along so well!
Cookie decorating- fun and sweet at the same time!


I asked Ailsa and Heather to smile- they are ignoring me with style, huh?

Here's a quiz

Answer these three questions and I will be eternally in your debt:

1. Why is Mae waking up at three a.m.?

2. Why can't I get back to sleep when it happens?

3. What lottery numbers should I pick to win and therefore enable me to hire a nanny?

What? No ha ha?

Didn't anyone think my last blog was hilarious? I want comments!

Anyway, another day, another coupla bucks. I hate working and I need to win some sort of lottery.

I am going to bed now, I was up all night thinking that some tick was side-shuffling it's way into me. You'll all be pleased to hear that I am free of ticks this morning though, although this may be my monthly theme. Too bad October is almost halfway through.

Night night.

EEEEUGH! Would I ever need a lot of sauce for THAT!

Gross me out! I just found a tick in the laundry room! Who do I call?! 911? Gross me out the door.

Sharon told me that when she was here Ailsa got sucked by one. Apparently it was still wriggling when the health visitor pulled it out. (Cue shivers down the spine).

And I met this woman Libby this summer who's husband is a postman and he got one on his testicle. Hence, the title of the blog..... okay, let's drop this subject.

Here's a bit of advice.

DON'T rent 'The Weatherman'- it's a movie starring Nicholas Cage and it sucks (worse than any tick)
DO read 'A Confedracy of Dunces' by John Kennedy Toole. It was written in the 60's and as yet doesn't seem to be going anywhere but that's good because I don't want it to end. It is very well written and an easy read. Go get it!!!

Pictures to follow......'oh sweet jesus'

Well, this week I have been working my ass off. I have been preparing for my workshops next week and am slightly freaked but at the same time I have been doing school workshops at the museum.

So school classes visit and we break them up into two groups and go through a 'presentation' with them, either a Victorian classroom, with them as the students, or the servants in the laundry. They seem to enjoy it, although the women who I watched do it last week were VERY strict. That will take me a while.

On Wednesday I did the laundry twice. It must be very physically demanding to be a teacher, not the 20 coffee/smoke breaks that I was used to a Social Services, although I would defy anyone to tell me we didn't work hard....

Anyway, on Friday I was the schoolteacher. It was a bit scary as you have to show them the back straightener, the finger stocks, the dunces cap and the belt. When I watched Kate do it last week she whacked the belt so hard on the table that even I jumped.

So before the kids arrived yesterday I went up to the 'schoolroom' and practiced hitting the belt on the table, which is covered with thick, toughened glass. I couldn't make it sound loud, although I tried.

So when the time came the little guy who came up for the 'belt' was quite a trooper. I warned him of what I would be doing. He holds out his hand and what I do is whack it on the table, just beside him.

You all think I hit him, don't you....?

Well, no, I hit the table.

AND SMASHED IT!!!!!!!!

Do you think they will dock my pay??? This job is turning out to be not so fun....pictures on Monday nite....

I blame Sharon Reid

Okay, so Sharon, John, Ailsa and Heather have just moved into their new home.. Sounds good and positive, doesn't it????
After dinner tonight Geoff, Mae and I went to the postbox to send a card, as any good friend would do. After all, it's a new beginning and all that junk.

Probably about a 10 minute walk if I was alone, with Mae it was a lot longer. It was misty when we went out.

Mae was in a good mood, and as we were crossing the last road before the postbox, she decided to jump in the deep puddle on the road and soaked me. She said 'jump!' as she did it. Quite funny, I admit.

But on the way back I decided to get her back.

I didn't factor that by trying to soak her by jumping square in the puddle that 80% of the splash would affect me.

You owe me one, Reids.

Freaky things

Work is freaking me out a bit, I must admit, but I won't go into it as I am trying to think positively ( I don't call it blocking anymore as that disturbs my bowels).


BUT!!
Guess what I saw today on my way home, feeling tired and a bit low?
A WHOLE RAINBOW!!!!! Beginning and end, if you can believe it!! No pots of gold, but seeing a full rainbow was pleasure enough.

Here's a pic (not mine, I hasten to add, I need to start carrying my camera with me at all times- I got this from Wikipedia)

work work work

Well, I am working tomorrow, but that still only makes it four days next week- do I have any right to complain? And I will get paid double overtime. Not really.



Nice day here today but we took it easy- we just had to go out and get shoes. Here is the reason why....

I killed the cat

No, I didn't- that's a song from the Sex Pistols, I think- BUT I AM GOING TO!! That Rumpole has been meowing since we got home and kept me up all last night. As Geoff can tell you I don't do well with lack of sleep. Okay, okay, maybe he's missing Mungo but really- he may be seeing his brother sooner than he thinks!!!





PS- If anyone out there is now calling the RSPCA and flagging this blog- I am only JOKING!!!!